It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sorry about my life...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
