You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
