Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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