no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
