HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
