broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
