i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
