Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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