I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
