Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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