school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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