my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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