hotel room ftw
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
