Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
