there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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