Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
