im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
