Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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