i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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