You can't motorboat a personality
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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