people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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