That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
