how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
