i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
