remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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