he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize