I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
