I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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