Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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