just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
