I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Welp...herpes.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
