I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
