So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
