You're completely useless in the revolution.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
