he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
