and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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