Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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