You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
