Porn is love you can see.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
