have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
