brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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