her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Life is so much better after having sex.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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