All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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