There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
