Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
