You're completely useless in the revolution.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
