Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
