I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
