went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
