Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
